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A recipe for self-immolation

For the sake of having something to write about, I choose to take vague issue with the way this Haversack top is described by retailer Union Made. “Easy, functional and incredibly summer-ready.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a power piece. It’s just that when you think about it, it’s neither easy, functional or summer-ready. Incredibly or otherwise.

You must wear a t-shirt under this. It’s non-negotiable. To toss this over a bare chest is to enter the deep-V club. An organisation populated entirely with guys who wear jeans that look like tights and snort whey power. The V on this is far too capacious to rock nude. And there’s the issue. If the sun’s roaring, you’d have to wear a tee, then drag this over the top. It’s a recipe for self-immolation. Double-teeing in the sun is not, “easy, functional and incredibly summer-ready”. You’ll just bead up like a petulant chef and yank at your fit to try and get some air between it and your soaking torso. I speak from experience.

Of course, I’m ignoring the moment the sun drops and you need a little extra something for the evening chill. There’s a good reason I ignored that. It doesn’t fit in any of the preceding waffle. As I say, it’s a strong piece. The indigo-dyed cotton is killer and as well as the chest pockets, there are a couple of hidden side-seam pockets at the hem. I would just say it’s more likely to find practical use as a proper layering piece, over a shirt even. Around the time the sun does one and normal life resumes under our typically despondent iron sky.

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