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Welcome to the track top lifestyle

Spend a lot of time sitting on that knackered sofa in your front garden, drinking Strongbow and muttering “fuck” a lot? Course you do. And when you’re not taunting that emaciated mutt on a string, you’re hanging around a phone-box, dolling out rollies to school kids; playing the big tattooed man in a tiny pool of your own miserable making. Welcome to the track top lifestyle bro. Just because you’re a loser at life, doesn’t mean you can’t win at style.

As you might imagine, you’d need to forgo quite a bit of Strongbow to kit yourself out in this. It’s actually from Kaptial – ideal for those wanting to one-up those rocking the now familiar Needles track pieces. It’s also pretty full on. Check the velvet trim on the sleeves and the embroidered icons and flowers. Track tops might traditionally be the preserve of the local nutcase, but a nutcase in this will also need to be pretty in-tune with his emotional centre. The only thing aggressive about this is the vibrancy of the floral embellishment.

Of course my lazy stereotyping concerning the wearing of track tops is just that. Lots of dudes who don’t club people senseless with bar stools wear track tops. I guess, five-a-side footballers. Guys attending a football match. Guys clubbing people senseless with bar stools after a football match. It’s a broad church.

I’m not sure if this Kapital effort is just the wrong side of fancy? It is after all a happy looking piece. Reminds me of the kind of cheeky but family-friendly get up worn by U certificate girl bands in the 90s. Maybe this isn’t hooligan-wear after all? Less barbaric, more B*Witched.

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