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Lunacy you’d be mad not to want

Clothing that chooses to contravene the rules established for them are often the most interesting. Take the t-shirt. Originally derived from 19th century underwear, the basic tee has morphed into an item of light, airy outerwear. They’re often stamped with random words and phrases so those with no personality can publicise their existence. And they’re good for keeping cool as our planet slowly becomes a poisonous uninhabitable furnace. But, as you can see, the professionally foolish design team at Kapital ignore all this.

Rather than featherweight cotton, they’ve gone with denim. Rather than offer the ventilation of a billowing hem, they’ve gone with a deep, elasticated rib. Rather than a simple, dainty neck line, they’ve bolted on a hefty V, loaded-up with complex sashiko stitching. Lunacy of course. But lunacy you’d be mad not to want.

To be fair, while it is denim, it’s a lightweight 8oz denim. So on a hot day your liver would be unlikely to cook. Then again, take a look at the neck. As we can see from the shots, the only dignified way to wear it would be with another tee beneath. To go bare chested would be to invite comparison to the inhabitants of Channel 4’s entire output – hairless and oily, tattooed with symbols they don’t understand, and prone to gurgling when sucking on a Desperado, or when thumbing their tanned genitals into a listless hairdresser. An under-tee really is required. So I guess, human casserole is back on the menu.

At £169 for Kaptial it’s a good buy. If you can deal with the odd shape – those super-heroic sleeves would need some taming – snap it up now from Haven. Contrary to the nonsense I’ve been spewing, I really like this. That my girl looked at it and said, “that would be flattering on no one“, just makes me want it more.

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