Still waiting for The Bureau to launch its new site and accompanying Engineered Garments stock? I’ve been refreshing their site for weeks. No joy. I am writing this on Sunday 18th, what’s the betting it goes live before I’ve even finished this post?

Anyway, (at time of writing) the vast majority of EG’s SS18 offering is not directly available on these shores. So I’m looking to Japan’s Reggie Shop, and this entirely irresponsible hat.

That I would never wear this is irrelevant. That it manages to exhibit two categories at once that would render it sectionable under UK law is interesting enough. Firstly, that schizophrenic pattern. Sure, it offers a bunch of delicious looking African prints. But delicious on their own. This blazing bouillabaisse offers a freshly caught selection of seafood, then tosses in some fish fingers, fish cakes, a couple of Pizza Pockets and a fistful of Potato Waffles. Doubtless an acquired taste.

Secondly, it’s massive. I mean, massive doesn’t do it justice. Looking again at Reggie Shop, it seems it’s only available in size medium. Did the large really sell out? Or is even the medium so big that you’d need a head like a walrus to carry it off? EG are prone to producing weirdly proportioned headgear. But this is just cartoon bigness. You’d have to actually look like a pavement caricaturist sketch to stand a chance of filling this fucker out.

Anyway, over to you. Get your wallet out if you want to look like Jamiroquai via Blossom. I’m going to wait for the The Bureau to offer something more tame.