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The next worst thing that could happen, could happen

Torn between mumbling upstarts and traditional lyrical dexterity, hip-hop is undergoing a period of upheaval. On one side you’ve got the grammatically challenged, but fresher Cardi Bs, Lil Yachtys and Migoses. On the other, thesaurus-troubling, boom bap surfing duffers like J Cole and Moss Def. Hip-hop is going into melt down. Everyone’s, like, arguing and shit. The world won’t actually explode because of it. But, whatever is the next worst thing that could happen, could happen. We need something to heal the rifts. Something to make both sides realise that, hey, this is hip-hop, we’re just talking over a beat and people pay us for it, this is aces!

My suggestion is the return of robot dancing. Everyone loves it. Everyone can have a bash at it. The Robot is, might I suggest, completely dope. And Japanese brand Meanswhile clearly agree. The last time I saw someone wearing one of these, he was standing behind Turbo and Ozone in Breakdance: The Movie, twitching like a giant excitable penis.

You can get this in three colourways and, if you’re really serious about your electro-boogie career, grab the matching pants too. The big draw is the (entirely apt) popper fastenings up the arms. Other than maybe loosening the odd one around the wrist on a hot day, I have no idea what the purpose of an armful of press studs is? Does it originate with some sort of sporting activity? As I see it, if you undid all the poppers it’d either entirely fall off, or, best case scenario, you’d just be left with a load of freaky flapping folds, hanging off you – like an Adidas x David Cronenberg colab.

Anyway. These are made of stretchy twill. They costs around £150 direct from Meanswhile. And personally, I think this look represents the future of menswear. I want one of these so bad I’d be prepared to dust off my bodywave. Although in truth, I rarely need much encouragement.

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