If you buy this shirt, the last thing you should do is wear it. It’s so cool it’s disgusting. Just having this shirt, at home, in your closet is enough. Friends will know how irritatingly cool you are, even if they’ve never seen you wear it, even if they’ve never seen it, or heard of it, or met you. So vigorously correct is this shirt that even as I look at it, I feel vaguely ashamed to have been born a mere human man, rather than a rendering of over-dyed cotton and elastic ribbed hem inserts.
Just go with me for a second here; let’s pretend the word ‘cool’ has actual defined substance and tenor. It is cool right? Not cool like James Dean, Brando or Fonzie. And not cool in a fuck the world, I’m a tortured artist leave me alone way. It’s cool because it’s got unnecessary bits on it, it’s over-dyed and crucially it’s got a laid back, just thrown on feel. Oh, and it’s balls-out expensive.
It’s from the Japanese brand Sacai and it costs a swaggering £442. There’s a button down rounded collar on there, a box pleated rear, a herringbone placket accent and Sacai’s signature elasticated hem. It’s got all the bits, but the key is in the way they all sit together. For now, for today, it’s virtually perfect. This shirt is now garrisoned in my brain. I wish I’d never seen it.