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What’s a dirivative again?

Dropping bangers season after season, at price points which verge on the satirical, Sacai is a persistently infuriating brand. Haven’s latest drop illustrates this perfectly. A polyester scarf print shirt for £542, a Mexican stripy sweater for £309, £1036 for an anorak/sweater hybrid. It’s a lifestyle I would like to be comfortable with, if only my current account shared my sensibilities. Maddeningly, like most, I’ve got to hang around for sale time and by then there’s new season stuff to consider. It’s like the Sacai world exists solely to intimidate and exasperate.

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I mean, someone must buy this shit? Some moneyed twerp who, I convince myself, couldn’t possibly appreciate it in the way I would. I can’t imagine anyone with the dough to buy this Jacquard Dungaree Shirt would actually understand it. The complexities of the Hawaiian embroidery, the toggle detail, the snap buttons at the hem – it’s a dissertation of a shirt, far beyond the cerebral grasp of some chinless securities broker, or a 14 year old Instagrammer with mummy’s VISA. Least that’s what I tell myself.

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To think otherwise begs madness. Why aren’t I successful enough to casually drop £403 on a fancy shirt? What have I been doing with my life? Why the fuck am I sitting in this cafe writing this rubbish when I could be finding out what the hell dirivatives are?

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