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For those moments when you absolutely must look like a toy train driver but with waste paper bins on your hat

I’m aware that there are occasions, few and far between perhaps, but occasions nonetheless, where it’s vital you dress like a clot. A buffoon. A crimson anus. I won’t waste your time and mine tediously documenting the specificity of such occasions. I mean, it’s not necessary is it? We all know they exist. They must do. Otherwise how do you explain the existence of this piece of headwear?


It’s by the brand Cav Empt, one of the many brands currently trotting out monochromatic T-shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies covered in crude, punkish, cut-and-paste graphics and ironic use of ugly 90s fonts. It’s cool, cos it looks a bit shit. With me so far?


Anyway this cap is part of their AW15 drop. Not only does it feature a repeated picture of a waste paper basket, it’s also cut with a flat top, for that toy train driver look. A toy train driver, who’s unironically wearing an ironic 60 quid take on his normal headwear, featuring wastepaper bins that may or may not be a reference to the brand itself being trash. This, as you can see, is deep shit.

Anyway I guess my point is, I don’t like this hat very much. End of the line.

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