Look at him. What a giant babus. What’s he got his face all covered up for? You’d assume wearing a pair of Italian Incotex trousers made from a cotton blend fabric, “with 3% elastane to ensure comfort”, he’d be feeling all confident like a proper boss. Using the full energies of my considerable mind I reckon it’s one of two things. Either, he’s the shyest model on the planet – in which case I can’t imagine his career prospects are all that rosy. Or, he’s been told to pull an ‘arty pose’ by the photographer and this is what we’ve got. A man thoroughly ashamed of his own trousers.

If you didn’t know, Incotex, part of the Slowear group, apparently make the best chinos money can buy. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never bought any. But interestingly, I am accustomed to walking round covering my face. I can’t be held responsible for the dangerous excitement levels I generate in women if they view 100% of my features.