My god that’s a clean looking sweatshirt. Clean and fresh and sharp and crisp and clean. Fuck me, I’d get some bacon sandwich down that bastard.

It wouldn’t be my intention. But I probably would. Just look at it’s unashamed sparkliness. It’s fucking flawless. Positively sanitary.

I suppose you’d expect it to be for 152 quid. But you know what, I guarantee that within 24 hours of me owning it I’d have blemished it in some way. And the cruel thing is, it never happens with cheap shit. Only stuff that I’ve dropped a stack on. Anyways… it’s by HeadPorter Plus – you know the Japanese dudes who make the absurdly expensive nylon bags that don’t look all that?

The only problem I have is that it looks a bit Cos. Cos are always banging out geometric sweatshirt stuff. Not that we’re in the same quality camp here. But, well, there’s always the chance someone might point out that they’ve, “got one a bit like that from Cos.” At which point the only reasonable response is to fall to your knees shrieking and punch the ground until your fists fall off.