I love it when I read the phrase, ‘so this happened…’ on social media. Cos I just know I’m about to hoot with laughter when I see the accompanying picture. ‘So this happened…’ is really smart, because it’s basically shorthand for ‘like, ohmygod, get ready, you’re gonna see something c-c-c-crazy.’ And you always do. There’s always someone wearing a silly costume at a party, or pulling a funny face. It’s often something unimaginable like a picture of a toddler who’s got some felt pen on his face. You couldn’t make it up. My favourite ‘so this happened…’ precedes a picture showing some empty wine bottles – it always makes me think about how bonkers that person must be to have drunk a bit too much alcohol. Madness.

Nothing that interesting happens to me. So I’ll just say, ‘so this happened…’ in relation to that picture of a jacket up there. Does that work?

What’s ‘happened’ is that I found this new season Needles jacket on the Nepenthes online store. It is a jacket, without a collar, so it looks like a cardigan, but it is a jacket. Three patch pockets, some front buttons and a fabric print that looks like 80s upholstery – what do you want for 29,000 ¥?  Which is 163 quid by the way.

Hang on, 163 quid for Needles? That shit’s normally in the 300s at least? I’m poking around on XE now… Hang on what’s a 円? That’s not a ¥? I give up, I don’t know how much it costs, but let’s face it you’re not going to buy it anyway.

So what have you gleaned from this? A jacket I can’t provide the price of, and you don’t like and will never buy anyway, exists. So, bit of a waste of time. Good. I guess, that happened.