When the sun blazes, personal style falls fallow. It’s hardly surprising. Firstly, with only two months of warmth a year, who wants to drop tonnage on papery, summer garb? Secondly, no matter how gauzy your styles, when shit gets tropical, your body weeps like an angry kettle.

Baking sun physically assaults a bro’s composure. It can be tough to hold your game together as your thighs glue together, tributaries of perspiration burst their banks beneath your shirt and you start to develop symbiotic relationships with ticks and lungworms.

Still, even under such atmospheric duress, the committed clothesist battles on. So check these looks what I created with my own mind and eyes. They are a bit like the sort of thing you might see in a magazine, only without the publisher’s rule that 95% of the choices have to come from regular advertisers. So here I can actually pick things I like, rather than have to pretend anyone actually gives a fuck about All Saints.

Ok, ok, here’s look, collection, vibe, whatever… number one. I could give these things a ‘funny’ name by the way, you know the sort of thing. Like, I could call this look the ‘Japanese Ornithologist’ or the ‘La-Dee-Da Gunner Graham’ or some such. But other people do that, it’s never that funny, so I won’t. So the look then… sort of green, with a bit or orange. Criminally expensive Nigel Cabourn shorts, some New England Outerwear shoes, which are very (cough) heritage, but I’m just a sucker for the colours and some other stuff you can get here, here, here and here.

Here we go, look two. So there’s some EG obvs, you can go here or here for that, a re-donk bonnet thing that I might actually buy from A Superior Labor and some pretty strong Air Force 1’s called Downtown Breeze. They do them in blue too, but they’re not rocking my party. Hit Folk for the bangle-thang and Garb for the hosiery.

Look three y’all. Eytys are still killing it, I want these in leather. Although I have to predict this brand’s gonna jump the shark in a season or too, they’ve gone from hardly known to the pages of Glamour magazine in a season. By jump the shark I obviously mean, I’ll start seeing other people in them, which is acceptable under no circumstances. More EG here, some power-Sophnet shorty-trews and a Velva Sheen polo. I mean, I have to throw in a brand you’ve not heard of…  you think I’m playing here brah?

Oh and yeah, unlike most dudeblogs, remember these edits were not presented as inspirational palettes. This is not about you getting all thinky and reckoning you’re all  inspirationally, inspired and shit. Stop with the fucking thinky bruh. This is a dictum for your ass. This is a prescribed way of dressing. Buy these things exactly. Exactly. Or go, go now, and never come back.