Pants are rarely on my agenda. No euphemism intended. I just hardly consider them. I mean, I wear them. I’m not a newborn baby or a dogmatic naturist. I’m not a highly refreshed Australian, who thinks the funniest thing in the history of funny is clawing off his own pants in a Walkabout.

I’ve never been a streaker, William Wallace, or that guy in the Cagney and Lacey opening credits. I’m just a dude who doesn’t think about dude’s pants that often. Unless they cost 70 quid and come with their own presentation bag.

This is the Thom Browne Classic Boxer. And I lied. They don’t cost 70 quid, they cost 69 quid, plus presumably some postage and packing should you drop for them over at End.

Whichever way you slice it, it’s a pretty significant outlay for what are, in the most literal of senses, a pair of pants. Or, I guess, boxers. Anyway, what’s a bro getting for his lucci?

A lightweight cotton fabric, a checked pattern, elasticated waistband, buttons, the ability to wear them… Plus of course, there’s that bag.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy tossing exorbitant amounts of money away on totally superfluous stuff as much as the next guy. I’m no fool. But a bag for a single pair of pants? Are you supposed to store them neatly in the bag before wear? Or is the bag for post-wear situations? And by ‘situations’, I mean ‘accidents’. I find it difficult to believe Mr Browne is now designing accessories for the ‘must’ve been a bad pint’ crowd?

Anyway, them’s some pants alright. Although if you look above. You will notice a bit of errant thread, pronging from the button. You would have thought that, at that price they’d be finished properly at least? I don’t know about you, but for 70 quids, I don’t want any dangly bits of cotton. Unless maybe, like the free bag, they also come with a free dangly bit of cotton?

If you’re in the market for a ‘going out pants’ collection, it may interest you to know that they do them in a pale grey stripe too. You best move quick though. I notice that End are running low on the small size? They’re fully stocked on the mediums and larges.

Will someone tell me where all these tiny ass bros are getting 70 quid to drop on pants?