Now I’ve seen these, I realise I’ve never truly understood what trousers were capable of. I think all of us, on some level, take trousers for granted. A couple of legs, a few pockets, a bit that you try and fasten under (or over) your beerbasket. They’re trousers. They’re for walking around in. For sitting on stuff in. They’re for making sure nobody sees your penis. At least, that’s what I thought. Now Engineered Garments have dropped these for FW15, my entire comprehension of what ‘a trousers’ means has been well and truly sodomised.

Called the Flight Pant, the airforce influences are clear. Just look at the details. These are loaded with clinch hems, giving you options to wear them straight up and down, or slimmer at the ankle. There are crazy-ass thigh pockets featuring zips and pockets down on the calf too, from the pictures I can’t even work out what goes where. Plus, you’ve got a combination zipper/button fly fastening – worry not, your penis is never gonna flop out of these.

I don’t even know how to consider the 263 quid these demand. On the one hand, it’s a heavy swing-ticket. On the other, this garment demolishes the very doctrine of trouserwear. It’s an intellectual conundrum as much as a fiscal one. What price revolution?