Wearing a hat is about standing out. Menswearists that say otherwise are lying. They’re editorialising. Frequently promoting the idea of some fictional old school tie style, syndicate of urban brigands – you know, devil-may-care rogues, connected, businessy, small of conscience, giant of chin. The GQ man basically. Hats are still de rigueur in this world apparently. Thing is, it’s not true. Most dudes don’t wear hats. Outside of a beanie when it’s cold, hats are seen as a bit foppish. A bit too much statement. That’s because they are. That’s why I like them.

The application of the right hat can morph a traditional look into the imagineerings of a mindspanked loon – as my favourite example of this phenomenon illustrates. The following three hats, are all, ‘the right hat.’ They are all from Japanese brand Cableami, they’re all over at The Bureau and are all about getting noticed.

Yes, this will keep your head warm, no that’s not why you’d wear it. Look at it. 80 quids worth of hack ‘n’ slashed indigo. Keep the rest of your fit navy and stick this on the top – you tell me a bro in this isn’t sharking for glances?

Look at its creamy, choca-mocha vibe. It even comes with a free sachet of chocolate sprinkles. It’s got quite a beak on the top too – very Pharrell friendly. The contrast strawmanship isn’t the thing here, its all about the shape. Even for a man comfortable with the concept of the head-warming eye-magnet, this would take some wearing.

More reserved and reasonable? I think so. The dude in this is fully at home in a denim and beads lifestyle. He’s not a guy that has to try. This hat doesn’t say, “I spent 30 minutes in front of the mirror getting the angle of this thing right.” It says, “What this? I just tossed it on.”

Before mumbling, “along with my three and a half hundred pound Needles combat trousers, my Canadian handmade moccasins and a creased Rough and Tumble shirt you can only buy in one store outside of Osaka.“