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The world’s first human-furniture hybrid

It’s not every day you see a man attacked by a lampshade. Presumably the result of a fractured wormhole, this half camo, half throw is not of this earth. It’s like waking up with some kind of knitted succubus still suckling away; both inconvenient and libel to draw glances. Clashing different types of garment in one garment is reasonably commonplace. It’s rare however to see it so jarringly realised. Usually there’s a modicum of blending involved in the fusion, creating a sympathetic, subtle join between styles. It appears designer Chitose Abe over at Sacai is disinterested in such an approach. Preferring instead to offer a camo jacket blatantly smothered by a woven squid of Nordic wool.

Can you see yourself wearing this? It certainly challenges the agreed parameters of a ‘difficult piece’ and as a consequence is only for the headstrong. Or maybe just the headfucked.

The onboard details, that of adjustable drawstrings, flap pockets and concealed snap buttons, pale into insignificance. Your either up for this challenge or you’re not. Practicality be damned. This is an all-eyes-on-you piece. You’re wearing your nan’s valance. Feel that bead of sweat on your forehead yet?

I’m not on the fence here. I’m off the fence. I’m at the timber yard before they’ve even made the fence. While I admire the bravery of the creator and indeed anyone with the stones to wear it, it has no place in my flex. There’s no way to dress this down. What you going to do, stick another scarf over the lampshade? The only way with a piece like this is to button it up, like the dude in the pictures, and front it. Embrace the Sacai vision and take your place in society as the world’s first human-furniture hybrid.

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