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A packet of smokes and a quinoa multigrain bagel

OMG Dries Van Noten. What fresh madness this? I’m not averse to a bucket hat, as regular readers will attest. But this is some next level bucketry and I’m not entirely sure what to make of it.


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What’s that harness thing all about? It’s a cotton and linen mix hat, but with a cage on the top. Or, if you prefer, “a flexible grosgrain frame.” According to Mr Porter’s retail blarp the collection is, “influenced by the Arts and Crafts movement” and it’s all about, “embellishing garments in new, boundary-pushing ways“. To which you can only say mission accomplished. It’s certainly embellished. Embellished to within an inch of absurdity.

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I get enough stick as it is for wearing buckets hats. The last thing I need is to provide pub wits with any further ammunition. On the other hand, it does look pretty damn cool. I suppose, you could slot stuff into it, if you were going camping say. A small flask, a packet of smokes, a quinoa multigrain bagel. But let’s be honest,  practical justification is not what this is about. It’s a posh bucket hat with a ribbony nest on top. It’s for tossers like me to wear to a party, so I can roll my eyes when someone points out I’ve got a ribbony nest on my head. £120 well spent I say.

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