Somewhere between the Cosmological Constant and Daedalus’ Labyrinth lie these tie-dyed shirts from Japanese brand Curly. Look upon them with care. It’s conceivable they represent our first confirmed sighting of dark matter. I understand the chaps over at CERN are taking this very seriously indeed.

You know what, I’ve lost track of the times I’ve compared tie-dye garments to astrophysical hypotheses. Or mythical mazes for that matter. Once you’ve trotted out references to obscurely 70s prog rock, smoking paraphernalia and comical shamanic belief systems, what have you got left? Tie-dye carries all that baggage. But fundamentally, as a potential consumer of tie-dyed wares, you’re left with a simple decision to make. Are you the kind of dude who’ll be comfortable wearing a weird, Japanese tie-dye top down the pub, while all your mates are wearing button-down Ted Baker shirts?

Personally, I’m entirely comfortable with it. Indeed, if truth be told, I take a strange masochistic pleasure from fielding the inevitable comments that come with wearing something a bit different to everyone else. Primarily because that’s all it is. A bit different. And you can grab this particular different, in the flavour of your choice, over at Locals Only. Seriously though, you’ve got to wonder as to the excitement in a guy’s life, if the best they’ve got on a Friday night is point at a mate’s shirt because it’s a bit different.

Still, look at it this way. More UK pedophiles wear Ted Baker than Curly. I mean they must do, statistically. Which is exactly the kind of nonsensical bullshit you can use in your defence.