I’m not much of a denim snob. I’m a label snob, which is much worse. Jeans I currently have in rotation include OTHER/Shop, orSlow and Blue Blue Japan. I have no knowledge of the technicalities of their looming or otherwise, I was seduced by the brand and the style, probably in that order. Yes, I comfortably identify as an idiot.

I recently bought a pair of Comme des Garçons Homme jeans in the Dover Street sale. When I got them home I realised they were non-salvage, so turning them up is going to look rank. Not only that, I wore them once to break them in and so restrictive was the raw denim waistband, I ended up in some discomfort down at the chiropractor. All to have a Comme des Garçons Homme badge on my buttock.

I wish I’d tossed my money at these Tender jeans now.

First thing, they do look a bit slim. I’d probably size right up to an XL, belt them in and get the hems shortened. But I think they’d be worth the extra tailoring cost. It’s those pockets on the front that swing it for me. Not that I’d use them for anything mind, I wouldn’t fuck with the line of my denim by thumbing keys and lighters in there. I’d just let them be. I’d just let other people without extra square pockets on their jeans look at the extra square pockets on my jeans and wonder where I got jeans with extra square pockets on them. Such are the small victories that make life tolerable.

Those of a less superficial bent might like to know that we’re talking 16oz Japanese selvedge denim, the side pocket bags are unfaced heavy selvage, and ‘Universal’ copper dome rivets are used throughout. Features I’m sure are all top notch. But being the infant I am, without those two extra square pockets I wouldn’t give them the time of day.