After the consumerist gluttony of Santa Christmas, it seems in poor taste to begin hankering for yet more pointless stuff. But here’s a tip. I’ve noticed that by simply ignoring the previous point completely, one can comfortably continue into the new year, confident in the belief that buying more new clothes may calm the throbbing absence of meaning in your life. So, hooray to that. Here be some shoes.

Part of the forthcoming  SS17 Engineered Garments collection these EG x Dr Martens are currently my most wanted. I haven’t worn DMs for years. Actually, tell a lie, I tried on a pair of Comme des Garçons, Homme Deux x DMs last week. I assumed they were part of the 50% reductions at Dover Street. A brief verbal exchange at the till put me straight and I shamefacedly abandoned the purchase. Thing is, I’d rather have these.

The mismatched lacing policy is key (one regular, one ghillie) an irregularity inspired by the skateboarding tradition of exchanging one sneaker with a fellow boarder to create a little sartorial asymmetry.

I’m told that these rarities will be popping up at The Bureau this season and will be available in all three colours – green, white and blue. Although looking at the Japanese price point of  ¥48,000 (approx £330) I fear the UK cost once transportation and tax have been factored in. One for the true new year vulgarian.