If there’s any pretence in these images that I’m actually going somewhere, it’s exactly that, pretence. The only somewhere I was heading, was out into the street, to get snapped, as quickly as possible, dicking about in my new Comme des Garçons Homme pieces like a big goon, before running back to the safety of indoors, a family bag of Onion Rings and a paused episode of Billions. In case it isn’t clear, I’m not a professional model. I’m a fella with little hair and even less shame. You should pity me.

The over-dyed jacket and shirt are both from Comme des Garçons Homme, snagged in the recent sale for 50% off. I like the Homme range, it avoids the avant garde ‘three sleeve’ approach of Homme Plus, delivering wearable but interesting pieces with a sort of classic, almost 80s Comme feel. Junya Watanabe is behind the line and the similarities between the Homme and Junya lines are clear. Comme’s predilection for synthetic fabrics does run counter to commonly accepted notions of quality and practicality though – the nylon shirt’s may have short sleeves, but Christ it keeps the heat in.

I’m also wearing some Barena trousers which are so wide I’ve actually bottled it and given them a bit of a pinroll. Very comfortable though, I do enjoy an elasticated waist.

Finally, shoewise, these are McKinleys x Nepenthes. To my knowledge, the only place stocking them in the UK is The Hip Store and, again, to my knowledge, they’ve hardly sold any of them all season. There’s still a full size range on their site and they’re down to 200 quid, so if you’re enamoured by the fat silhouette and ghillie lacing system, trouble your wallet immediately. Yeah, and Billions is worth a go.