Look out the window. I bet you see a dude in a stripy T-shirt. Unless you don’t. In which case, keep looking. Seen one yet? No. Keep looking until you do… See, told you. They’re everywhere.

British blokey-blokes, marching around provincial towns, are only allowed to wear stripy T-shirts. On the evidence of my personal eyes, I think it’s now law. I also feel, that having over 27 million beer-fattened, ruddy-faced, cargo-shorted brand ambassadors, has slightly damaged the cachet of the stripy T-shirt. Stripy T-shirts used to be visual shorthand for creative types with a penchant for Luis Buñuel. Now they are just as likely to indicate an appreciation of room temperature Gold Label and the Wetherspoon’s evening menu.

So where next for the stripy T-shirt? If the equidistantly striped, cream and navy, nautical classic feels too George by Asda, where the newness at?

This is a T-shirt with stripes on. It’s over at Oi Polloi and is by Bru Na Boinne, a new label for the store.  It’s got an unfinished neck, which I’m not in love with, but the bold dye on the hem does make this thing pretty killer. Assuming you’re cool dropping 102 coins (and some postage)? Still look good?

A bit more generic, but I do like the clash-up of differing girths, widths and breadths.  Flistfia is a Japaneseland brand that, up until very recently, wasn’t available outside Japan. You can now pilfer it over at Blue Button Shop. It’s a weird one this shirt. On the one hand, it’s from Japanz, so no one else will have this shirt. On the other, does it look a bit like Blue Harbour? Cock alone knows. Or does he? Either whichyway, I’d deffo wear this, while lording around M&S dudeswear dept, asking the sales ladies, “are you fucking wrecking with me bueno?” That’ll learn ’em.

Does one stripe make something stripy? Maybs? Probs? It does if it’s by Cash CA  and it’s got a draw string bottom. The draw string hem is an underused detail I think. More Ts should have them. Bit of a tug, bit of (cough) ruching and you could camouflage a small to small-medium beer paunch. Think on fatties. Anyway, this thing costs 210 Canadian Dollars, which I can’t even be bothered to XE, but doubtless, it’s a wedge.

This subversion of the traditional nautical approach by Perks and Mini is tasty enough. It’s 70 UK coins, which isn’t too bad, although, you throw a blaze-blaze over this when the sun dips and it’s going to just look like a white T.

Dunno if any of these revolutionise the stripy T? They’d certainly revolutionise the status of your bank balance. The choice is yours. Hit up one of these game changers. Or drop for a genero Captain Pugwash from H&M, and you’ll have change left for a BBQ chicken melt, chips, a flat mushroom and twelve beer-battered onion rings. The delicious Wetherspoon classic.