Some Saturday mornings you go complex. You get the bacon on, bagels, scrambled eggs, maybe have some tomatoes in the mix. Grind some Guatemalan. Wear your house robe. Get all Downton on that ass.

Other times, you just wanna keep it simple. Lounge in your sweats, drop in a tea bag, fire up the toaster and get busy with the strawberry conserve.

Garmswise, today is the latter. My eye’s back on simple kicks. The classic plain white (or thereabouts) sneaker. The sort of thing that’s sort of a plimsoll, but sort of a bit better than that. I’ve scribbled about such things before. But since then, another three suitably obscure flavours have come to light. They’re all guaranteed to place you a tier or three beyond homies keeping their struggle alive with off-the-peg Converse, Superga and Spring Court. And tediously, that’s what matters.

 

I’m double into the swagger on these…

They’re by Eytys, and called the Mother Canvas Shoe. I’d never heard of this brand until they cropped up at Goodhood last week.

They’re Swedish and according to their site, the brand ‘is a celebration to Multidisciplinary Creativity.’ Which sounds suspiciously like a barrel of wank. I think it means, they do some shoes with prints on by, you know, artists and stuff.

As I’ve pointed out before, I do find product details on swag stores quite interesting. I mean when you’re charging a bumton for something that’s made out of the same stuff as other cheaper things, what are your options?

Fortunately over at G-Hood, they’ve got something to shout about. Eytys‘ shoes are dyed in ‘Buffalo milk’, ‘sprinkled with with caraway seeds’, ‘baked in a high oven for 45 minutes’ and served on one of ‘Jesus’ actual flannels’.

No they’re not. Just like every plimsoll in the recorded history of plimsolls they’ve got a ‘100% canvas upper’, a  vulcanized rubber sole’ and ‘eyelets’ made from the purest, unspecified ‘metal’.

On the plus side, they come with two pairs of waxed laces, in white and purple. And, well, they’ve just got a great silhouette, look at that chunky ass sole and the purple tag. My wazzing-on aside, I genuinely love these and might well drop the requite 90 sheets.

These, by Human Made, are massive…

Tonal reinforced stitching and midsole foxing (whatever that is) are the construction deets to note here. That’s assuming you missed the fact that there’s a celebration (real word ‘factually correct grouping of animals’ fans) of polar bears lumbering up the sole.

At about 93 UK quid these are actually in the realm of the doable, which is unusual for Human Made. Grab these over at Haven if they’ve got your size left.

Feeling flush?

They look a bit like Vans right?

They’re obviously not though… I know you know what they are?

 

Of course. They’re Manual Industrial Products 04 from Hender Scheme’s “Hommage” footwear collection.

No I’d never heard of them. And I can positively say, I’ll never buy them. They’re based on Vans. Same shape, same style. They’re Vans basically. But not made by Vans. They’re in premium raw leather with a natural undyed finish. So, over time you’ll get that patina thing menswear heads bang on about. Which sounds okay I guess, until you examine the pricing strategy. 430 quid will buy you a pair of these leathery Vans, but not Vans. Or rather won’t, because, let’s face it, you’re not going to are you?

If you’re bored, try and make sense of their stupid site here. Or you could idly prod your cursor at the full range at Haven. Or don’t. Whatevs.

The Hender Scheme range pays ‘homage’ to classic sneaker designs – via the ‘unique’ medium of making them in a different material and then charging a massive wedge. Seems a bit lazy to me. Still…. Anyone interested in a wooden Our Legacy anorak? I can get it done over the weekend?