Gaudy kicks are still, no question, the hotness right now. But I’ve long been on the fence. I’ve browsed the usual suspects – Foot Patrol et al – yet I’ve never hit upon a pair that convinces me to drop the requisite tonnage. I’m just not really a sneaker bro.  That said… I of course appreciate the need for some sneaks in the closet, they’re perfect for styling an air of casual insouciance in a 24 hour artisanal butchers.  So flying in the face of the neoprene and the neon, here are two takes on the basic white (ish), canvas sneaker that I’m looking to drop on.

So for me the big feature here is that you get a little blue thing on the side of the sole. Now apparently these kicks, from Japanese brand Shoes Like Pottery, are fired in a kiln for over an hour which, you know, make them good and stuff. And they’ve got a reinforced toe and heel and whatnot, which I guess should be mandatory for the mad papes they’re charging. These are all kinds of 125 quids. For a pair of plimsolls. Still, they’re kind of all about that blue blob for me. I mean, have you ever seen anyone in these? Money can’t buy that kind of exclusivity. Except obviously it can. Check out the full range over at Anthem.

For the more fiscally ashamed, I offer these by Novesta.

I’d never heard of this brand until I clocked them at MKI Store in Leeds. These shoes originate from Slovakia and are supposedly the choice of the Czech army. The MKI models are super simple and but do have a pretty cool light grey sole, which works with the white just enough to give them a slightly unusual look. The cross-hatching on the sole unit is smart too.  MKI are knocking these out for £38. However, if your personal brand can handle it, why not embrace the full Novesta experience, check these…

No grey soles and the addition of, what appears to be the most rudimentary sporting ‘flash’ of all time… These look like a pair of trainers drawn by my niece. But then what do you want for 29 bones? Personally, I think the simplicity and grey sole of the MKI ones rock, these… well these just feel a little too child support tribunal. I don’t know what I mean by that. But I think it just goes to show, in trainers as in life, you are always just one small step away from fucking it all up.